portfolio       WOLF       first ladies       changing sides       all's well       stories

Clipart (c) art-today.com; used by permission. The Wolf Who Cried "Boy!" is a one-hour musical play, (c) 2002-2005, Steve Anderson, SGAcreative.com. It was produced by R/K Productions and performed at Mount Gretna Playhouse in August, 2003. It will be produced again at Little Theatre of Mechanicsburg in June, 2005.  For information and reservations, visit the LTM website. For information about obtaining the rights to stage a performance of the play yourself, contact Steve.

The Wolf Who Cried "Boy" is the silly, goofy, thoroughly entertaining tale of a good-hearted hero unjustly persecuted by a jealous, manipulative rival.  The hero?  A wolf--or rather the Wolf, wrongly remembered as the "Big, Bad" Wolf.  He is, on the contrary, quite a nice wolf, and he seems destined for fame and fortune after he rescues a young boy, Timmy, who has fallen in a well.  The people of his storybook village celebrate the feat, and the Wolf looks forward to book tours, talk shows, and hosting a network game show. But Timmy's older brother, Peter, has other plans.  He pushed Timmy into the well in the first place so that he could be the hero, and he has no intention of letting the Wolf steal his thunder.  He'll have his revenge, even if it means turning Red Riding Hood ("Don't call me Little!"), the Three Little Pigs, and even the Three Bears, against their friend, the Wolf. Silly enough to entertain the youngest of children, but with a healthy dose of irony to hold the interest of parents, other adults, and even teens, The Wolf Who Cried "Boy" also gently and irreverently explores peer pressure, popularity, and appearances, all on the road to an inevitable happy ending at Grandma's House.

Excerpt from The Wolf Who Cried "Boy!" a play for the whole family by Steve Anderson     COPYRIGHT NOTICE:  This play, including this excerpt, is (c) 2002 - 2005, Steve Anderson, SGAcreative.com.  You may not reproduce this excerpt in full or in part, in any fashion whatsoever, without the prior consent of the playwright.  I charge reasonable royalties, I promise.  Please don't steal my work and make me charge more.  Thank you. CONTEXT: The Wolf has fallen in a river and ended up with a bad headcold.  As a result, he's sounding gruff, just like in the storybooks.  Anyway, if he's going to get better, he's going to need some magical soup made from beans like the ones in "Jack and the Beanstalk." NARRATOR.  And so the Wolf made his way through the forest and the village, looking high and low for a nice, fresh bowl of magic bean soup. The Wolf returns to the stage, and as he does, the chaos of Villagers resolves itself into several distinct miniature scenes, as described below.  Each small scene runs continuously but silently.  When the Wolf arrives at each scene, the movements become larger and the actors add appropriate sounds. NARRATOR.  He started with the one professional baker in town. The Wolf joins a group of impatient customers formed in a tight semicircle around a single baker, who tosses imaginary pizza dough with one hand while stirring a bowl with the other, finishes the pizza and puts it in the oven, then flattens some bread dough with an imaginary rolling pin, etc.  While the baker works, the customers chant, quietly but steadily, over and over again, gradually picking up speed: CUSTOMERS (quiet chant).  Pat a cake, pat a cake, baker’s man!  Bake me a cake as fast as you can!  Pat a cake, pat a cake, baker’s man!  Bake me a cake as fast as you can! WOLF.  Can you help me?  I— BAKER.  What is it?  What’s so important you can’t wait like everyone else? WOLF.  Do you have any magic bean soup today? BAKER.  I always have magic bean soup for sale. WOLF.  Great!  I’d like— BAKER.  I said for sale.  Everyone knows wolves don’t carry money. WOLF.  Please!  Just a little? BAKER.  No!  No soup for you! WOLF.  But— BAKER.  No soup for you! The Baker turns back to the other customers.  The Wolf, at a loss, moves on.  The baker and customers continue their movements, but silently now. The Wolf comes next to a group crouching on the floor, perhaps at the edge of the stage, their hands on their knees or maybe on the corner of the stage, fingers splayed and hooked to resemble the talons of birds. NARRATOR.  Next the Wolf tried talking to the birds. WOLF.  Hi!  Could you do me a favor? BIRD.  Sure!  What do you need? WOLF.  Could you fly over the forest and see if anybody’s been cooking any magic bean soup? The birds let out a series of sad, wailing cries. WOLF.  What’s the matter? BIRD.  You said "cooked!" WOLF.  Huh? BIRD.  You see that baker’s man over there? WOLF.  Sure.... BIRD.  He’s in such a rush, he cooked four-and-twenty blackbirds into one of his pies! WOLF.  Oh!  I’m so sorry!  Are you okay? BIRD.  Yeah, we just need a little time.  They were so young.... The birds start keening again, and the Wolf backs uncomfortably away.  As he departs, the birds lapse back into silent action. The Wolf’s next stop is a smaller scene.  One villager is down on hands and knees, their back forming a seat on which a second villager, a girl, sits eating from an imaginary bowl. NARRATOR.  Next, the wolf asked his friends, starting with the village schoolteacher, Little Miss Muffet. WOLF.  Hi, Muffy! LITTLE MISS MUFFET.  I told you before, I hate that nickname. WOLF.  Oh, that’s right.  I’m sorry. LITTLE MISS MUFFET.  Hey, I heard about your interview, and being sick, and needing some magic bean soup so you can get better in time. WOLF.  Yeah.  Do you have any? LITTLE MISS MUFFET.  Sorry.  I have plenty of curds and whey, though!  It’s great! WOLF.  Uh, what are curds and whey, exactly? LITTLE MISS MUFFET.  You know how cottage cheese separates, and you have the solid stuff and the runny white stuff? WOLF.  Uh... yeah? LITTLE MISS MUFFET.  Here!  Want some? WOLF.  Ewww! The Wolf turns away, and notices, very close by, a creature crawling along the floor. WOLF.  (Cheerily.)  Oh, hello, Mr. Spider! LITTLE MISS MUFFET.  Spider?!! Little Miss Muffet runs panicked around the full perimeter of the stage and finally flees offstage, shrieking a single constant note the whole time.  The miniature scenes all pause while everyone turns to stare.  When she’s gone, there’s a moment of stunned silence.. SPIDER.  Was it something I said? The Wolf gives the Spider a comforting pat on the shoulder, then approaches a small boy sitting at the far corner of the stage. NARRATOR.  The Wolf even tried asking complete strangers. WOLF.  Hi, my name’s B.B. Wolf. The small boy doesn’t respond.  A girl nearby speaks up for him. GIRL.  That’s Little Jack Horner.  He never talks.  He just sits in the corner. WOLF.  Oh, that’s so sad.  Maybe we can— Suddenly, the baker’s man leaves his circle of customers and moves down center, holding aloft an imaginary pie. BAKER.  Voila!  My masterpiece is complete!  The greatest pie I have ever created! Everyone gathers around in a loose semicircle around the Baker... all but Little Jack Horner, who steps right up and buries his thumb in the middle of the pie, then holds it up, mugging for the audience. LITTLE JACK HORNER.  My, what a good boy am I! Little Jack Horner strolls offstage, licking the imaginary pie fillings from his thumb.  Everyone stares after him in shock until he’s just about to clear the stage. BAKER.  My pie!  My beautiful blackbird pie! BIRDS.  Blackbird?! The Baker chases off after Little Jack Horner, followed closely by his customers, and chased in turn by the birds.  Anyone left over joins the general mad rush for the wings, leaving only the Wolf and the Narrator behind. The Wolf sighs, looking around the empty stage, then tromps off in the opposite direction, shaking his head.